Bounce Back, Kill and Move On

Life is a long duration school. We keep learning every day. If we have to maintain our balance, be it mental or emotional or physical, we need to keep moving on.

I had been sidelined, shunted, deceived, ridiculed and even back-stabbed badly by those whom I gave my blood, sweat and even heart. Too naive you bugger ... take it ... now you better improve ...

There were instances in my past when I literally went near life changing nervous breakdowns ...
Some opportunists even thought of using my situational disadvantage. Rest everyone around me thought I sounded fine. Much because I didn't share my inner struggle as I didn't like unsolicited advice.
But deep inside me - I was demanding for justice ... From whom ? Well, I lost faith in your God long ago ...
I was lost, battered, tired, and disillusioned. I didn't like sharing my stress and would have ended up falling into depression.
At times I have been facing challenges on my limitations too ... I had and have many of them ... But I decided to defy them ... People have tried to put a tag on me ... I firmly believe that if I am humble enough to understand my gaps and if I have a reason good enough for the effort, I can change myself ... And I mean it ...

They say, "Neo bounce-back zordaar maarta hai" ... I don't actually like sulking and acting like a tragedy queen for long ... I have got one life here ... Can't waste it for some losers whom I loved or trusted more than they deserved ...
Also, if Neo needs to mend ways, so be it ... I am "The One" .... The child in me would bounce back without any initiation and that's my mantra ... 1st step is to pick up the right springs to fit beneath my sole and then 2nd step is to prepare for the bounce-back-and-kill-bill ... I just refuse to give-up or keep falling into traps ...

What turned me around on each occassion was always something people would ignore in daily rigmarole of life ...

Now comes the agenda of this post - Remembering my turn-around cues in my blog here now so that in future, I can know now how and where I would get those springs :D

a. Chaailaa kya surat thi vo kya kehte hain ... Vo raat apun do baje tak piyaaaaa ... bhoolna hai bhoolna hai ... agle din mohalle mein --- Aishwarya aayi ;-)
b. If you can get what you want in life just by sheer hard work, then what's stopping you from doing that ? Just go ahead and start hitting the hammer :-)
c. Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies .... ;-)
d. A hard fall means a high bounce... if you're made of the right material ... :D
e. I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom ... (somehow I am a big fan of bouncing back concept ... may be this why I keep falling rock bottom ... Kick , eh ? ;-))

Chalaa Taani !!
Love - Neo.

Music is language of souls : Me trying to interact today :D

I keep falling into this weird quicksand of narcissism ... And the best part is that over passing years I realised that I am not the greatest hero born on this earth ... and then these instances of getting entrapped actually started giving me pain ...

Today I am writing direct from heart .... So beware of making any conclusions :D ... as I have a damn strong brain and will to control my heart ... So what you see here is not my perceived self ... but what I am actually deep within ... as in Inside-Out (there goes Bryan Adams crooning his heart out)

I don't like society. I rather hate it. Why ? Because it has always kept my inner thoughts and wishes at leash ... Abhinav unleashed would be much more unsocial, a near-psychopath, a selfish, a quick-fun-acquiring yet an outwardly-humble guy with a sinister smile ... Devil Incarnate :D

Society has always kept killing something inside me ... this why I started hating the very source of this civilization and rules based living ... your so called fucked up concept of God !

I didn't like when I was rated ... against some people who were directionless ...
I actually liked some fellow human beings as they were really beautiful ... enough so that I would hanker for them ... But then I kept moving on ... even one single hint of indifference from them sent me into a state of reflective indifference ... actually narcissism ... yet again ... And then I started telling myself - They are losers ... They don't kow whom they are missing out ... :D

Rest all people went to take oil ... I am what I am and I will be always me ... !

Then came my academy ... my turning yard ... a long turning on lathe and subsequent metamorphosis ... On 5th October 1999 the entire hostel danced on some random music medley and wished me a happy and long life ... I had never been center of attention for such a large crowd ... that night changed me forever ... I realised the strength in me as a soul ... realized that actually I was the winner at birth itself ... afterall I was the fastest sperm out of millions who wished to fuse the ovum first ... I started loving myself more ... It can actually whack your entire psyche ... It did to mine at least ...

And then the ships and the beauitful oceans ... I fell in love with them the moment I saw them for the first time ... they were just so grand ... like a sublime magnum opus with all possible epic sequences, dialogues and moments ...

But all this while ... I kept my animal instinct intact ... deep somewhere ... though by now buried away from this indurate and (rather) blood-seeking society ... only unleashing it in flashes for my selfish yet humble growth trajectory ... While I moved into a desired state of emotional bonding ... Which initially came across as a covalent one ... which later ... only due to this society - turned into a real ionic one :-) I tend to ignore follies made here (My circus ... my monkeys) ...

By that time, guided solely by worldly desires of fulfillment, I kept running ... only until I realzed my animal started turning impatiently in its own grave when it heard some faint murmur of like-minded souls above the hard lid I had put over it ...

Now ... when I am already engrossed into this mad rat race ... one day ... just like that I asked my animal ... would it plan to come up again ?

It said - "No ... You have been running fine ... You may actually go on to be a winner in this rat race"

"But ... Would that bring me happiness ?"

"Who knows, Abhinav ? ... Would you see your actions in so selfish light ? ... At times ... even this rat race is mis-contrued and mis-represented ... you need to dive deeper ... to see what actually matters to you"

He seemed logical ... and of late - firm ...
And then I realized that ... Come What May ... I won't be able to come out of rat race so easily ... the decision to participate in rat race is actually solely driven by a sense of responsibility ... The responsibility of being a God to someone ... And not the fucking idol and texts and pilgrimages that people push onto fellow humans just to score a long-term-business-actually ...

But I made a pact with him ... I would talk to him ... and try to keep him alive ... if he dies, I would die too ...

So today - Just to soothe my animal ... I planned to make a laundry list of interactions that touches him :D ... I would be back ... ;-)

(Now ... Who am "I"? ... Ha ha ha ha ha ha) ... The self diffused like a thin smoke into air ... and I woke up ... only to find you staring at my blog and trying to make a sense of what kind of man I am ... Well, only suggestion - Don't try ;-)

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iUZRSeqzz8
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Vcd9PDsdIs
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN5dP3BZALQ
4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDJP49awOcg
5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS-DkrZBdxA
6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGMEx2bEyKM
7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRxmgHdpXYA
8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGpd1V8YYT0
9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqQ6BF50AT4
10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjWuOtHGJck
11. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcKl4LzMzzs
12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBw_JSiNF9c
13. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnSNXzTXsF0
14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bCAd59yH-o
15. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YzW1nMB9fk
16. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ejga4kJUts
17. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwtdhWltSIg
18. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO48Cnl66w

... Now feeling sleepy (due to another night-out) as well as rejuvenated after such a dose of good music :-)